trip down memory lane, habang kumakain ng choc nut, umiinom ng hi-c at nanonood ng saturday fun machine

nakakalungkot na yung mga bata ngayon pag sabado mall lang ang nasa isip... patay na yung sabado na masaya...
nung bata ako, which is a very long time ago i always look forward to saturdays because of saturday fun machine and uncle bob's lucky seven club.
yun, paggising manonood lang ng mga cartoons na walang kamunduhan at less violence. those were the days where superheroes are just plain good, walang mga dark past, walang conflict of interest, walang internal o emotional struggle ang mga bida. basta pag bida mabait, pag kontrabida bad!
superfriends, great space coaster, space ghost, punky brewster, mightor, thundercats, gummy bears, comic strip (camp mini-mon, karate cat, streetfrogs, tigersharks), popeye... haaay, nakaka-miss. naalala ko pa na gustong-gusto ko maging centurion (power extreme!) e member ng M.A.S.K., o bionic six.
simple lang ang buhay, pagkatapos ng saturday cartoons either we'd watch eat bulaga, or play outside, taguan, patintero, luksong-tinik/baka, tumbang preso, moro-moro, mataya-taya, monkey-annabelle(monkey monkey/annabelle/how many monkeys did you see...), langit-lupa (langit lupa/ impyerno/ im...im... impyerno...), mangga-mangga (mangga-mangga/ hinog ka na ba?/ oo,oo hinog na ako...), mother may i?, pepsi-seven up. walang PSP, nintendo DS, walang ipod, walang pc, walang cellphone. kung gusto mong kontakin yung kalaro mo pipito ka lang, o kaya papalakpak. pwede ka rin magbigay ng secret message, isusulat mo lang sa coupon bond pero ang tinta mo katas ng kalamansi, tapos paplantsahin ng kalaro mo para lumabas yung secret message...
mga idol namin noon hindi artista, mga superheroes... superman, super islaw, mga g.i. joe. wala kaming pakialam sa mga artista noon, at wala rin kaming balak mag-artista noon. di tulad ng mga bata ngayon ang ultimate dream lang ay maging artista! wala rin kaming malisya sa katawan noon, kahit mga hubo kaming maglaro sa ulan walang kantiyawan, di tulad ngayon, mga hindi pa tuli nanliligaw na...
maiisip mo, cheap thrills lang kami, but i had the most wonderful childhood, i am grateful that i grew up when technology hasn't eaten the purest happiness a child could get. di pa kami dependent sa technology, simple lang yung buhay. kahit brownout o walang load masaya pa rin kami. the most wonderful things that brought me happiness as a child wasn't bought in a mall, and it may be outdated but it still makes me smile until now, di tulad ng linumang 5110, wala nang kwenta ngayon (at libo pa ang binayaran mo nung una mong binili para mauna ka)
when i become a father i promise to protect my child from technology, it might be inevitable, pero sisiguraduhin ko na yung pagiging bata nya, magiging sing saya ng pagiging bata ko.

litany of why

why is it that the other line moves faster than the one you're in? why does time fly so fast when you're enjoying, and excruciatingly slow when you're waiting? why can't you sleep if you have to wake up early the next morning? why is grimace a mascot for mcdonald's eh, wala namang halaya dun??? why does it rain when someone has to be buried? do the heavens mourn over the dearly departed? why is it bad for the bride to try the wedding dress on before the wedding? why do people who hustle other people get rich,while the ones who play it fair can't make both ends meet? where is this thing called universal retribution? but i still do believe in karma, it may not have DSL speed, but i know it will come their way... what goes around comes around. why do bats sleep upside down, giraffes standing up, and fishes with their eyes open? why do you have to regret "after" and not "before"? and why do you still have to do it, when inthe back of your head you know that it's all futile? why is the grass greener on the other side? why can't sheep drink on a running brook? why did the titanic sink if it were "unsinkable"? why is superman wearing his jocks over his tights? why can't lois lane see that clark kent and superman are one and the same? for fuck's sake try putting glasses on superman,lady... why do clocks go clockwise instead of otherwise? why do i still have to brush my teeth if i'd lose them anyway? why can't elephants fly? buti na lang, imagine-in mo kung dumapo sa'yo yun...why is the sea salty? why is it blue, and why can't you sing underwater? why do i still keep on hanging despite the most incredible odds that i'd make it? why do i content myself with being just a loser? why can't i be proud of something? and why do we have to please people who are complete assholes themselves?....

nauseaous

whenever i meet somebody i haven't seen for a while the conversation would most likely be like this:

Q: uy, kamusta na?...
Ako: ayos naman....
Q: sa'n ka ngayon? dun pa rin?
Ako: hindi na, sa herrera...
Q: a call center?...
Ako(in my head): hindi jakol center!

all these people think i work for a call center... hell!
i used to apply to almost every call center there is but they always turn me down because i lack formal education. opo mga kababayan, di po ako nakatuntong ng kolehiyo. and now, i gave up trying to be a twang-ed, chuck taylor-clad, id-dangling, "different" dressing call center agent.there's nothing wrong with being one, i know it's one of the most lucrative jobs there is (kaya ko nga gustong pumasok dun eh), but too bad for me they wouldn't take me. haaay...kaya yan, i ended up being a porn reviewer... hehehehehe, mas masaya naman ang trabaho, less stress at higit sa lahat puro BOLD!!!! i used to work in the land of concrete castles where armies and hundredfolds of call center agents work, kaya siguro lagi akong napapagkamalan na ganun... but now i work at home, masaya kasi sa bahay lang ako... malungkot lang kasi di makalabas dahil sa trabaho.

i admire, if not envy these brilliant call center agents because of their uncanny ability to sound like they grew up in Bush-land, sana lang hindi hanggang sa bus, o sa carinderia dinadala nila...
and they have this weird tendency of discriminating people who can't comprehend what the hell they are saying. it's sad because a lot of these yabang dudes would speak in twang while buying a stick of yosi at the corner vendor. haay! yan po mga kaibigan kong magsasaka minamaliit po nila tayong mga hindi agad naiintindihan ang mga sobrang SLENG (sic) nilang pananalita.


call center agent: a pa' o' ma'bo' ligh's please?
manong vendor: ...ano po ser?
call center agent: 'a mean ma'bo' ligh's... (and gestures cigarette smoking)
manong vendor: ahhh, ano po HOPE?

nice one manong!

flash games

sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, lahat ng tao kailangan ng outlet... at ito ang ilan na magandang pagbuhusan ng galit kung:

1. iritado ka na sa kakatrabaho
2. iritado ka na sa kinanginang boss mo
3. iritado ka na sa putanginang mga katrabaho mo
4. iritado ka na nga sa trabaho, pag-uwi mo pa iritado ka rin sa bahay
5. iritado ka na sa buhay mo
6. wala ka lang magawa

Whack Your Boss



Click here to play this game

PC Breakdown



Click here to play this game


Downing Street Fighter



Click here to play this game

marami pa yan, sa http://y8.com

anaphora of hate

i hate barney the purple dinosaur. i hate being fat, although i am, ergo i hate myself.
i hate the fact that i am un-educated, and i hate regretting that i never had a formal college education. i hate pink, and all these people who put their collars up. i hate wailing kids in the mall, why can't their mothers make them stop. i hate the fact that everybody in the government are at the form of pouncing each others neck just to be on top, makes me think of the tears for fears song everybody wants to rule the world. i hate being an asshole, and being a loud mouth, but i can't help it. i hate basketball, really i do. i even hate sports.
i hate people who think that they know everything, yet they don't. it's not a problem if they'd just shut-up and make everybody else's ears less polluted, but no! they'd go on and on and on... i hate people who act like lambs in front of other people as if we can't sense that you're such a mess. i hate people who complain a lot, although they can't help it 'cause the Lord God made them that way. i hate social climbers and gold diggers, aaarrrrggghhhh!!!! para silang mga langaw na nakatuntong sa kalabaw, tapos tingin nila sa sarili nila mas mataas pa sila sa kalabaw. i hate motorcycles with their stereos blaring loud annoying music.
i hate nosy people, they follow your every move as if you're the star of your own telenovela...
nosy: san ka galing?
you: dyan lang po...
nosy: bakit di mo ata kasama si ...ano?....
you: ah, nasa kanila po....
nosy: di pa ba kayo kasal? di pa ba sya buntis?.....
you: "tang ina mo, tumigil ka na, ayusin mo muna yung kinanginang buhay mo bago mo ko pakialaman!!!!"

don't you hate it too? why can't these people just mind their own fucking bussinesses? i really hate 'em. i hate call center agents who talk with a twang outside of their offices....
call enter agent: uhhhm... coul' you like... um give me a bowl o' rice and some por'chop ?
tindera: ilang kanin po, sir?
call center agent: uhm, like two, and please add some o' tha' "kesyap"...how much 's tha'?
tindera: kwarenta po, sir.
call center agent: owkei! here, wai' i think i ha' some coins he', he' yah gow!

haaynaku!!! kinanginang buhay yan!!! pati nga sa pag-para eh..... "pawa poh!"

TANG INA!!!
siyet!

eleksyon

patapos na ang bilangan, at ang nanalo, ang mga mamamayan ng gen san.

buhay ng isang porn reviewer

endangered species na ngayon ang porn reviewer ng 'pinas, bakit? dahil sa freelance nga kami pero sumusunod pa rin kami sa wisyo ng mga amo namin... haaayyyy!!!
di man nga ganun kalaki yung sweldo ok na rin, lalo na sa katulad kong di man lang nakatuntong ng college...
haaaayyy!!!!
ganun talaga. sa pinas ka nakatira eh...
sa pinas na walang gobyerno,
ano kamo?
anong meron?
wala tayong gobyerno, yung mga taong nakikita nyo mga characters lang yun sa telenovela na ang pamagat ay
"the Republic of the Philippines"

bahay ni halaghag

ano'ng tinitingin-tingin mo dyan?